Day 30: All Good Things...

So begins the final entry in the blog, as I lie in my cabin with less than 24 hours to go before I'm back home in Worthing. I'm guessing that once I'm all unpacked I am unlikely to be in the mood for blogging! It will feel very strange not having something new to see everyday, and I expect there will seem to be somewhat of a gap in my life, as even before the trip started it took up a fair bit of my time. I guess that's why I'm keen to start planning something new, although I doubt it will be anything quite so adventurous! Still, I always know that if I really want to, I can do it. As much as I have noticed the aspects of the Queen Mary 2 that are less appealing this time around (mostly the entertainment, but also the average age of passengers which influences what activities are available), I can definitely say that I will also miss having all the free time that I have enjoyed this week!

This blog has served a number of purposes for the trip. Firstly, it's been a good way to let everyone know how I'm getting on, in more words that you can fit on a postcard (yes, sorry everyone but you wont be getting one of those!). Secondly, it's been a good way to record the trip, and I will be able to look back on this in the future and remember the fantastic experiences I have had. And finally, it has been quite an enjoyable pastime for me, and it's actually reminded me that I quite enjoy writing. I expect I will try to keep a more general blog in future - certainly not a daily one, as this trip has been exceptional in giving me plenty to write about everyday - and maybe even think about another way to put my writing interests to use. Hopefully you have enjoyed reading this collection of thoughts and experiences. Otherwise, you have to wonder what you're still doing here!

At the beginning of this trip, I expected that it would prove to be a life-changing, inspirational experience for me, which would teach me something both about myself and where I was going (in the literal sense of learning about the US rather than some deeper philosophical notion of the direction my life is taking!). I think it has largely fit that bill, although it seems that any travelling experience is deeply personal, so “life changing” means something completely different to each person. I know from seeing some DVDs of these kind of journeys (e.g. Darius Goes West), people finish the journey with a new sense of purpose and determination. For me, I think I already had this, all this trip has done in that respect has affirmed what I always thought to be true, which is just what you can do if you put your mind to it. What this trip has done for me is remind me of how important it is to continue to have as many new experiences as possible, something I will try all the harder to achieve in future. I also thought this trip would be a father-son bonding experience, which it has been, but not in a clichéd Hollywood movie style - my Dad and I are still the same people as we always were, and still probably disagree in the same ways we have always disagreed, but we have shared experiences, we probably understand each other and get along a little better, and I know that I appreciate my Dad more for everything he has done (that's not to say I didn't appreciate him before of course!).

Having now finished with all the formal nights of the trip, all that remains is the “elegantly casual” Last Supper - and with just one other dining companion it's a lot less exciting as I had hoped! Tomorrow morning we dock at Southampton alongside Queen Mary 2’s sister ship Queen Victoria. After that, the short ride home and then that's it, the trip is over. I will probably add some photos to this blog on my return, mainly for my record, although perhaps you might like to come back and look at them to give some substance to what I've been writing!

On a final note, I'd just like to say thanks once again for reading, I've tried to give an honest yet upbeat portrayal of the trip, and it has truly been a wonderful, enriching experience for me, one which I will hopefully look back on fondly for many years to come. It's been emotional!

Day 29: Reflections on the water

As you might have guessed from the rather sporadic nature of the blog lately, there hasn't really been a whole lot of activity in the last few days, and Day 28 has so far not proven to be much different. I've now started on my fourth book of the trip - as usual on my holidays I've resolved to read more when I get back - whether or not it translates into real action is another matter, but years of experience would suggest otherwise! It's all very relaxing, which is quite welcome, but doesn't really give me much to write home about! Today has featured more pub trivia, a classical piano recital (much to Dad’s horror, so he opted to spend the time in the shops instead!) and the England-USA match - which I have to confess I didn't watch all of, just went to see the friendly competitiveness between passengers on either side. Of course, the English passengers seem to care about it a lot more than their American counterparts! At the pub quiz we met a couple of disabled passengers (both wheelchair or scooter users), who were on the Queen Mary 2 on the way out and had done a similar trip to us. Didn't really get to chat to them properly, but it seemed they had spent time travelling around (including to Niagara Falls), and also in New York. They reported having had a better experience on New York buses than we had with the taxis!

One thing that I've been asked on this trip is how accessibility for disabled people compares between the UK and the US. The popular belief, and one I once held myself, is that the US is generally more accessible. In some aspects this is true, in that more businesses seem to have made some kind of accommodation for disabled people. This may be a result of having legislation around disability discrimination five years before us (1990 Americans with disabilities act), and also a culture where there is more fear of being sued. However, it is not quite as simple as all that. As with legislation in the UK, in the US not all buildings have to be completely accessible, adjustments simply have to be made where it is practical, or reasonable. Admittedly, in the US there seemed to be more buildings where ramps were available then you would find in the UK. But often there are buildings that have no access, particularly the older buildings as we found in Boston.

Moving beyond the simple case of getting in to buildings, I would say the US is less accessible than the UK in many respects. In regards to toilets for example, in the US accessible toilets are almost always integrated into the standard toilets, so there will be a larger cubicle in the men's and ladies rooms. In the UK, disabled toilets are unisex, and almost always separate from the standard toilets. This means in the US, you are completely screwed if you have a carer of the opposite sex, or perhaps a mother and son/father and daughter. Also, because of this setup the accessible cubicle was often too small, which I can just about cope with but for many people would be a dealbreaker that would prevent them from leaving the house. Because of the sheer number of people I know that would find this a problem, I'm staggered to think that this has never been considered in the US.

And it's not just the toilets, in the US there seem to be many things that have been neglected, which the UK is leading on - roads and pavements are in a very poor state, road crossing points are often inaccessible, accessible taxis are very limited in number, etc. For me, I was able to manage for a few weeks, but I think living there would present some serious issues. To be honest, I would love the chance to do my job in New York for a while and sort them all out! What struck me when I was looking at New York is that there doesn't seem to be a particularly active lobby of disabled people, which is perhaps why so many problems remain.

It's things like this I have been reflecting on, now we are nearly the conclusion of the trip. That, plus where I will go next! I know that I will struggle to top this trip, which really does feel like a once-in-a-lifetime thing, but I remain determined that this will not be my last holiday! I guess now I really have caught the travel bug!

Day 27 & 28: The Ocean Routine

Day 26 and 27 have seen us get back into the routine of life on board, which for us consists of a late morning (even for Dad who needs all the rest he can get) followed by lunch and an afternoon activity (usually a pub quiz), then the 5pm film, which takes us up to getting ready for dinner! Unfortunately since the first night, despite seeming to get along well our dining company has dwindled, with the two ladies leaving (we think they changed to the earlier dinner sitting), and John dining in another restaurant. So for the last two days it has just been me, dad and Ted, an 82-year-old retired accountant from New Jersey, sitting around the dinner table. This has been quite disappointing as for me the best part of a cruise like this is the chance to meet with and chat to other people, which has been quite limited this time around.

We have met a few people, including two couples who we met on the first day, and even took part in a quiz with the couple from Worthing, but other than that the social opportunities have been fairly limited! Perhaps that is also down to us because we don't share interests like needlework, knitting, scarf tying, napkin folding, bingo... well, you get the idea! Of course they also do more active stuff like sports (table tennis, golf etc) and dancing, but neither of these are of any value to me. On a more positive note, I have enjoyed the films (I'm looking forward to the showing this afternoon of The Hurt Locker), and also the Shakespeare play the taming of the shrew, which have all been quite entertaining.

Unfortunately, and this might explain the less upbeat mood of this entry, this morning we had some very sad news, as we heard from home that our dog Murphy had to be put to sleep. We had known this was on the cards for a couple of weeks, as he had been having problems with his legs, and while we have been away this has deteriorated quite rapidly, to the point where he could no longer stand. Although at 13 he has lived a good life, it’s still very sad to lose him, as he was part of the family. He was just a big softy who liked nothing more than playing with his toys while “talking” to you.

This news, as well as the feeling of formality overload, meant that yesterday evening we opted out of the formal night, choosing instead to stay in normal clothes and eat at one of the less posh restaurants. Quite a relaxed affair and we were quite appreciative of not having to dress for dinner for a change. We were not the only ones doing it, but nevertheless I felt a little self-conscious of not being quite as presentable as I should be! We still have one formal night left on the trip now, so we'll be breaking out the DJs again tomorrow.

Day 25 & 26: Steaming Across the Atlantic

I sit here on the third day of this transatlantic crossing wondering what to write about in this blog, something that I haven't really struggled with over the past three weeks. In truth, we are both a little underwhelmed by this crossing as it seems so very similar to our voyage on the way out, and it is quite a difference from our experiences of both Boston and New York, where we never struggled for things to do. Of course, we have attended and enjoyed some of the activities so far, including pub quizzes and film screenings (the film was 17 again, nothing particularly inspiring but watchable nevertheless), and even a lecture on the history of Atlantic crossings. But these are all in bite-size chunks, in between which there has been little to do. As such, I've come to view this part of the holiday as simply a chance to relax, and have already read quite a lot, and have otherwise been taking it easy. Probably wise given that I will soon be returning to work, something which seems quite distant after so long!

This part of the trip presents a new and challenging experience for my Dad and I, as we are now on our own, with my Dad being my sole carer for the next week. This is something that he has very rarely had to do, and never in the last 10 years, so we have both been a little anxious to see how it would work out. So far, we both seem to be holding up quite well, and Dad has been excellent at doing everything. We just hope that we can keep it up! In hindsight, recognising how big a task this is for one person, I probably would have arranged for another carer to join us, but at that time was put off by the fact that it's at least £2000 for another cabin, and no one was available to help at the time. Still, we will make it home, just Dad might end up a broken, shattered wreck by the end of it!

This experience has made me realise how invaluable the support I have had has been. It brings me back to a conversation I had about a year ago with another disabled person who also receives care, and like me this is funded by social services. This individual, who employs personal assistants to provide all care, said to me that the problem with using volunteers, as I do, is that it is disempowering because you are expected to be grateful for whatever you can get. While I appreciate the point, which is basically that when you employ someone, they are simply fulfilling their job role and do not necessarily need to be thanked for it, I do not think that this should be the case, and I think regardless of whether someone is paid or not, a little gratitude should be shown by us care receivers. In hospital, when you receive a good standard of care, you would still thank the doctors and nurses, even though they are being paid. And I think to ignore that is a danger which comes from focusing exclusively on disabled people's rights. Of course, I do firmly believe that we should have rights, but as with anything we also have responsibilities, which cannot be ignored. Seeing the situation that exists for many disabled people around the world, it is definitely the case that we are lucky to live where we live and get the support that we do. That does not mean we cannot push for a better deal (which is sorely needed in some areas), but it's necessary to remind ourselves sometimes of what we do have.

As such, I'd like to thank Jan, Marius and Steffen for all their help on this trip, which has made it all possible. And as for my Dad, well he has been truly fantastic throughout this trip, and as much as I hate to admit needing help, it is definitely true that I could not have achieved this trip without all the help that he has provided. We've had a bit of a running joke that I’ve become like the Queen, with him as my entourage dealing with things like carrying money, etc (as everything needs to be signed for, it's just been easier that way!). And sure, I can be independent at home when I have skilled, reliable personal assistants who I employ. But on this trip, while Jan was invaluable on the journey out, and the CSVs have been a significant help (particularly Marius who has done everything he can to make things easier), my Dad has been the only one I could really count on throughout my time here, to make sure I got all the support I needed and that everything went to plan, and where it didn't, to help me fix it. And he has really gone out of his way to let me make the decisions so it remains my trip, even when I know he has not agreed with everything I've decided! I know it has been very difficult for him to be out here, away from everything that he loves and enjoys for so long, particularly Mum and the dogs. But I think despite all this we've had some very good times while we've been out here and I do value this trip for the time it has given us together. I'd like to take this opportunity to thank him for everything. Thank you!

Day 24: Goodbye New York!

Day 24 started quite early, particularly for Dad who got up to take a taxi down to the Manhattan pier to check for the ship! With no ship there, we were at least reassured that it would be in Brooklyn instead and that we would be heading for the right place when our transport arrived! I have to say, this was the fourth day that we had to move all our luggage from one place to the next, and it really doesn't get any easier or less stressful. Not only do we have to keep track of more luggage than any one or even two people can possibly carry, some of which I literally wouldn't be able to survive without for more than 24 hours, we've also had to worry about which of my carers are coming and going, and making sure that we end up in the right place. As much as I was sad to leave New York, by the beginning of day 24 I just wanted to get safely on the ship as quickly as possible, so we could relax again.

As has been true of all of the “transfer days”, this went off largely without a hitch, the only really tricky part for me being the journey in the van which collected us (once again due to the appalling condition of New York roads as well as inadequate passenger restraints which seems to be par for the course in any form of public transport or taxi). But we arrived at the terminal all intact and were processed quite quickly through security and boarding, despite the fact that we were two hours earlier than our scheduled boarding time. We managed to get everything onto the ship just in time to go and enjoy lunch at one of the ships buffet restaurants.

As we travelled out on the Queen Mary 2 in a Queen’s Grill suite, we ended up being pretty spoilt , and it is inevitable that we will find many things on board not quite as nice as they were first time around. For example, the cabin, or “stateroom” (called that because back in the day of paddle steamers, more luxurious cabins were named after states in the US) this time around is about half the size of what we had before. I did actually ask to upgrade, but were told that the ship is “more or less full”. We nevertheless asked if they could take our details in case something came up (I later thought that I should have asked if we could have one of the ”less full” cabins, but probably fortunately I missed that opportunity to be a smart-arse). Although there was a brief moment of hope when they called us to say a cabin might be available, when we went to look at it we found it was inaccessible. Obviously the person I had asked did not write this rather essential requirement down - which basically meant wasted time for everyone and shows that not all the staff on the ship are quite as on the ball as they should be! Ah well, I am sure we will manage okay in this room, as nice as it would be to have a bit more space and a balcony. As I said, we were spoilt and as such have now become cruise ship snobs!

The main highlight of the day was watching the departure from New York up on deck. We have had a number of opportunities so far to look at the New York skyline (from our midtown dock on the way in, the view from the Liberty Island Ferry, and the view from the top of the Rock), but I would say that this was probably the best view yet. As we slowly pulled away from the city, we were rewarded with a panoramic view of Manhattan and surrounding boroughs. It certainly beats the view when leaving Southampton! For the most part we ran alongside the Staten Island Ferry, so anyone that has done this will have seen the same view. We were even given our own NYPD police helicopter escort out of the port. As we relaxed up on deck, it made me quite sad again to think that my time in the States is now an end. But also very pleased to have had this experience and thankful to everybody who have made this trip possible, and I shouldn’t lie, also just a little bit proud that I have managed to achieve this trip at all!

While we were on deck admiring New York, I ended up standing next to a couple who turned out to be from Worthing, which truly was an amazing coincidence. Of all the many nationalities on board, the chances that there would be someone from your home town, and beyond that, the chances that you will be standing next to them, given that there are about 2500 passengers aboard, are very slim indeed. To be honest I wouldn't be surprised if we never end up seeing them again, the ship is so big! They seemed pretty friendly and up for a laugh, so with any luck we will!

Other than this, and Dad’s impressive feat of unpacking all our luggage into what seemed like a very small space, the evening was not particularly eventful, simply giving us an opportunity to meet our dining companions for the week. These consisted of Sophie, an American from Maine who used to run her own business but also spent time studying psychology and made friends in the UK back in the 1960s; Joanne, a teacher of applied psychology who lives in Canada; John, a retired guy who used to work in the oil industry and now lives in Spain; and Ted, who comes from New Jersey, but was slightly out of my earshot so I have no more details! When we first sat down I actually thought we were joining two couples, but it soon became clear that all four of them are solo travellers. Although none of them seem particularly fun, this could simply be because we only just met, and I nevertheless found them all quite interesting people. Hopefully we will be able to get some lively discussions going!

Day 23: The Final Day, and All That Jazz!

After the late-night of the previous day, day 23 did not begin particularly early, but once I was up I decided to look for Broadway tickets online, to see if we could catch another show before we left, and make up for the disappointing experience with Phantom of the Opera. The first show we tried was West Side Story, but having no luck we managed instead to get tickets at the last minute for a matinee performance of Chicago. Having heard many positive comments about this, I was quite excited, and also amazed that we could get accessible tickets so close to when the show was about to start.

The 40 minute walk from our hotel to Times Square has by now become quite familiar, with its broken streets and huge potholes, and I’ve actually quite enjoyed being able to walk right into the centre of everything. Mind you, in this heat the sight of our hotel at the end of these walks has often been a huge relief! Anyway, we made this walk for the last time, and I tried desperately to imprint into my memory the amazing sensation of being a part of such a vibrant city. I have to say, in the last day I felt painfully aware of our impending departure, and every experience has been savoured.

The performance of Chicago was really good and completely new to me as I had never seen the show or the film. I really liked the fact that it was not just another nice, heartwarming tale, and it was very funny in parts. Although I wouldn't say it made a particularly deep and meaningful critique of fame and the media, it certainly has a message behind it beyond just shallow escapism. There are some very good songs as well, and I was quite impressed with the cast, who I found very entertaining, particularly “Mr Cellophane”. My Dad also seemed to enjoy it, and it made me very glad that I made the spontaneous decision to see a second show on the trip. After the show we decided to eat at TGI Friday's on Times Square, which was pretty rubbish both in terms of the food and service! I've eaten at quite a number of TGI Friday's in the UK, and have never been disappointed, but all I can think of is that on Times Square with the sheer number of people in and out each day, they are not too worried about repeat custom!

While I would love to say that I spent the last night in New York up all night partying, in reality the necessity was that we had to finish packing up and prepare for the departure the next day. So nothing very exciting, and if anything a little sad to think that my trip is coming to its conclusion. I have to confess that I actually opened the window this last evening in New York, simply to hear the noise of the city that I have loved being a part of, if only for this brief time. Amazing also to think that this city has been loved by and an inspiration to many people before me, and probably many after. Unfortunately, the thought of there still being a week on the Queen Mary 2 is not as much consolation as perhaps it should be, as I feel I know what it will be like, and that it does not begin to compare with how much fun I have had in the States. However, I remain open to being proved wrong!

Day 22: Boys and Their Toys

Day 22 started with continued efforts to track down exactly where the Queen Mary 2 departs from on our day of departure, given the change of plans on our arrival, but frustratingly no one seemed to give a particularly reassuring answer! Thus we decided there's nothing else to do but to simply go to the riverside and look on the morning we are supposed to leave, and if there’s a big ocean liner parked there, then that's where we go! Of course by me I mean Dad, as he is very helpful like that, and tends to be up ridiculously early anyway!

So after sorting this out, we decided to spend the day visiting one last tourist attraction on my list, the Intrepid Sea-Air-Space Museum, located on the aircraft carrier USS Intrepid, on the Hudson River. Amazingly, as this is not something you expect an aircraft carrier to be built for, the museum is almost fully accessible, with the exception of the Concorde and submarine. As the title of the blog suggests, this trip really was just one for us boys, as we got to look at lots of military hardware which is all about being very fast, loud and blowing things up - which myself and my Dad found very interesting but would probably bore people that aren't little boys at heart! The museum also featured a lot of history about the aircraft carrier which was commissioned in 1943 and saw action throughout World War II and the Cold War. And to make things more interesting, the museum also has a number of simulators which looked a lot of fun so I dispatched my Dad and Marius to enjoy them on my behalf. They seemed to enjoy themselves, although Dad was too much of a wimp to try the next simulator which would allow him to fly his own plane in a dogfight. Given that he's driven in Manhattan I'm sure a dogfight would be a piece of cake, but he wouldn't be persuaded!

After the museum, we walked back to the hotel alongside the Hudson River, which started off as one big cycle lane but later got a bit more scenic as it became the Hudson River Greenway, a thin strip of grassy park land. Quite a popular spot for sunbathing, particularly today as the temperature touched 90° at one point - that aircraft carrier deck was pretty sweltering I can tell you! We had our second opportunity for fame of the trip as we walked behind another film crew - this first happened in Boston but the TV crew didn't seem particularly professional, but this time I actually recognised the person being filmed! Of course, at that time I couldn't actually be more specific than “that science guy in the BBC documentary about time” - which I think was overheard by one of the film crew as I got a bit of a dirty look! Now I have access to the Internet I can tell you it was Professor Michio Kaku (50 points if you know who that is without finding a picture!). I'll have to look out for future documentaries he presents to see if we are in the background!

The evening was quite a simple affair as we found another restaurant just one block away from the hotel, another one serving some pretty nice food. It makes me think that we have really landed on our feet with the location of this hotel - not too close to be in the centre of all the tourist hordes and complete chaos which is Times Square, but still within walking distance of many attractions, and just in the right place for lots of lovely eateries. As it was still quite early, I decided to head to the nearest cinema to take in a movie. Unfortunately all of the offerings at the moment are pretty mediocre summer blockbusters, but I went for Iron Man 2 - completely silly but just about watchable! By the time we were coming out from the film it was half past midnight and the temperature was still 78° -very strange to be walking around in shorts and T-shirt at that time, but I actually rather enjoyed it!

It’s sad to think this trip is entering the final stages, so I’m determined to do something special for my last day in New York. As soon as I find out what that is, I'll let you know!